Ponderings

So Ok, my life is typically an open book so I am just going to put myself out there and let some of you all know exactly what my biggest struggle is lately. Here goes...just plain ole taking time to pray. When I first came to the Lord I was on fire, reading the word everynight at bedtime, taking time to pray, or at least journaling my prayers or letters to Him. Now... I struggle big time. Most times my life feels like it is a whirlwind...dont know if I am coming or going half the time. Most days the only time I get to myself is at 5am when I get up to go to the gym...lately that hasnt even been as regular as I would like. Every day I tell myself ok, I dont need to watch TV, and come to think of it...one night a week I even do that...for only 1hr. Now of course on Friday and Saturday nights are family movie nights and we are usually up very late. It is the week nights that has me frustrated. I want to be growing in a relationship with Jesus and I know the only way to do that is by spending time w/Him I am just at a loss as to how to effectively do that. I am not a stay at home mom...I realize they are busy too, but mine is a different kind of busy. I get home from work and either have to find my way to a soccer game or figure out what I am making for dinner...most nights we dont eat until 730-800. Then I am either getting all that cleaned up or trying to get some laundry done or running off to ballet school. It is crazy. Till all settles down... I am ready to sleep. I do manage to do a devotional...but....here is where I get caught up in the works mentality. The devotional I read at night...as well as the 3 I read online during the day at work.....do they mean anything? Does He look at me and say good and faithful servant or is He shaking His head discouraged because He wants more. I mean I know He always wants more....but do you see what I am getting at? One thing for sure is I know I dont pray enough. I am one of those people who mean well and say I'll be praying for ya...and some days I am good during the day when someone pops into my mind I'll say a quick prayer, or when I read an email I'll say a quick prayer, and then other days I do nothing. Am I the only one who goes through this or are there others like Me? Sometimes I feel I am alone in this. My LH is so much more closer to God than I am...I want that yet I do nothing lately to stive after it. I dont know. Well, there is my first major post and I am putting myself outthere. Thanks for listening.